Where Does Your Team Actually Become a Team?

This week, I got back from spending a week at Sea Base in the Florida Keys with a crew of Scouts. For several days, eight of us lived together on a 41-foot sailboat.

It was hot. We slept in very close quarters. We cooked and cleaned together, sailed, snorkeled over coral reefs, watched dolphins and barracuda, and took turns staying awake for anchor watch in the middle of the night. And I got to watch six teenage boys become a crew.

I've been thinking about that experience ever since I got home. Somewhere in the middle of it, I realized I was living inside the title of this newsletter. Because Sea Base was really about the work between meetings in two different ways.

First, the trip didn't begin when we stepped onto the boat. There were months of preparation: recruiting a crew, raising money through wreath sales, booking travel, completing forms, figuring out gear, learning knots, practicing with masks and snorkels, talking about expectations and assigning responsibilities.

Most of that work wasn't particularly exciting. But by the time we arrived in Florida, a tremendous amount had already been put in place to make the adventure possible.

And then there was the other kind of work between meetings. These Scouts meet throughout the year. They sit together in a church basement, hear announcements, practice skills, plan outings and conduct the business of being a troop. 

But that's not necessarily where they become a team. That happens when someone needs help raising a sail. 

• When they are hauling up the anchor together. 

• When two people have to stay awake together for anchor watch.

• When everyone is hot and tired and somebody still has to make dinner.

• When you have nowhere else to go and have to figure out how to live together.

Those experiences create something that is very hard to manufacture during a meeting: trust.

Why It Matters

I've spent much of my career bringing people together around challenges that are too complicated for any one person or organization to solve alone. We put a lot of attention on the moments when everyone is together: the retreat, the advisory committee meeting, the strategic planning session, the community convening.

Those moments matter. But increasingly, I'm interested in everything surrounding them.

What has to happen before people walk into the room so they're ready to do meaningful work together?

Have we invited the right people? Do they understand why they're there? Is the decision clear? Have they had the information they need? Do they know what role they're being asked to play?

And then there's the other side: What happens after everyone leaves?

Who follows through? Who calls someone they disagreed with? Who shares information? Who does what they promised? Where do people have opportunities to actually work alongside one another?

Because complex initiatives move on relationships. You don't have to agree about everything. You certainly don't have to like everyone you work with. But you do need enough experience with one another to understand people's motivations, recognize what each person or organization brings, and know that when someone says they'll do something, they'll probably do it.

A great meeting can help. But a great meeting can't manufacture trust.  Relationships are built through the accumulated experience of doing real work together.

Maybe that's why some of the most cohesive groups I've worked with aren't necessarily the ones that have spent the most time meeting. They're the ones that have spent the most time doing something that matters together.

Try This

Before your next important meeting, ask two questions:

What needs to happen before this meeting for people to be ready to do meaningful work together?

And:

What needs to happen after the meeting for the work, and the relationships, to keep moving?

The agenda is only one part of meeting design. Sometimes the most important thing you can design is what happens on either side of it.

Between Meetings

Here's the question I've been carrying home from Sea Base:

Where does your team actually become a team?

It may not be around the conference table.

Thanks for reading. If this made you think about a team or collaboration you're part of, I'd love to hear about it.

The Work Between Meetings is a monthly letter from Freya + Co with ideas for leaders moving complex work forward. Subscribe here.